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Facebook……

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I may be a Facebook addict……  😦   (I see your heads nodding in agreement).

It starts off with logging on first thing in the morning to see “what’s new in Facebook land” but then I am logging on 10 times a day to see if any of my friends have made updates to their profile,  or have posted new videos, pictures or articles…..

I do recall getting into trouble for writing on walls when I was a kid......maybe this is how my addiction started?

Facebook is my news source. It’s how I keep up with the news and photos of friends and family that I don’t see often enough.

I am not a private person….(unlike my husband who happens to be a very private person)……I don’t care who knows my business…..my life is pretty much an open book. I don’t mind people knowing what’s going on in my life as it is a great way of getting “unsolicited” advice and opinions on situations and issues. I don’t always care for some of the opinions I receive but I can respect people for having them. It doesn’t even mean I will change anything in my life based on what someone else might try to convince me of, just so you know. I basically like people, and I like knowing what is going on in their lives…..sometimes it even helps put everything in my life in perspective.

My husband is the complete opposite of me…..he believes personal lives should stay personal, and doesn’t like people knowing “too much” about him…..He does have Facebook but you will rarely see him on there…..To some extent he’s right about keeping personal personal…..some things should be kept personal, but I still like to tell all there is to tell about myself and my family. I think part of it is because I’m a “girl” and girls like to talk…..and part of it is where and how I was raised. I was born in the city and lived there….not very long 🙂 …..I was raised in a very rural community where everybody knew everybody which translates into everybody knew everybody’s business as well. My kids went to school with the kids of the kids I went to school with and I went to school with the kids of the kids my dad went to school with…..you see how this is going…..everybody knew everybody since the beginning of time in this little community. I have lived the majority of my life….up until 11 years ago in this small rural community under the rules of everyone knows about you and you know about everyone else…..and I liked it that way!

Eleven years ago I moved from my home province and my rural community to my current home in the City to marry my wonderful husband (who I met on the internet…..not through a dating site, just an “old-fashioned” chat room, in fact I have a Facebook friend today from that same chatroom, and yes I have actually met her in person.)……The city I live in is a small city by most people’s standards, but huge compared to where I came from. There were a few things I needed to get used to right away……..like locking the car doors….(weird I know)……locking the house doors at night or when I went out…..(again weird)……and the big one for me to get used to……..NOT KNOWING ALL MY NEIGHBOURS AND THEIR FAMILIES!!

I haven’t really changed in the time I have been here, I still like people and see all people as basically good (until proven otherwise) and I still feel I know everyone even though I really don’t. I’m not saying city people are unfriendly….not at all….., in fact I have found that people are very “friendly” here. I just find I miss the whole knowing everyone and what is going on in their lives.

And that is why I may be addicted to Facebook!!!

I hear my kids applauding right now that I am admitting my addiction. 🙂

Of course I have never acted like this.... 🙂

I have 165 “Facebook friends” made up of family and friends……59 family members…..siblings, aunts,  nieces, nephews, first, second and possibly third cousins……20 are friends that I have met since moving here, and…….86 are friends from my old home that I either went to school with or my kids went to school with or I met and became friends with outside of school. I do personally know each of the people who I have on Facebook, except for 2 who are  my family and friends significant others that I have not had the privilege to meet in person yet.

Why I am addicted to facebook…..As I said it is my news source. I hear right away when someone has been born, has died or is getting married…..and I like keeping up on those things. My newspapers here will not have any of those announcements in them for my friends and family that do not live here….and that would be most of them. I get to see pictures of newborns and also pictures of not so newborns that show me how everyone has changed from day to day and year to year.

Contrary to what some of you may believe….FACEBOOK IS PUBLIC….if you don’t want someone to know what is going on in your life then don’t write about it on Facebook, but more importantly, don’t tell anyone else about it because there is nothing to stop them from putting it on Facebook. Don’t get all upset at people when they talk about stuff on Facebook that you want kept quiet, especially if you haven’t told everyone to keep it personal. I understand not wanting your affair posted on Facebook but if it’s a somewhat public thing like a wedding or a birth announcement, then it seems to me Facebook would be the place to share your good news……with all your “FB friends”.

If you post a picture on Facebook….it is public, if you don’t want someone to “steal” your pictures, then don’t put them on Facebook. I do “steal” people’s pictures from Facebook….it’s what I refer to as my public photo album. I love when friends and family post their pictures and videos on Facebook….it’s my chance to get an up close and personal look at people’s changing families that I might not have a chance to see even if I went back for a visit.

I very recently read an article that said you can have too many Facebook friends:

Oxford University Professor Robin Dunbar has conducted a study of social groupings throughout the centuries, from neolithic villages to modern office environments.

His findings, based on his theory ‘Dunbar’s number‘, developed in the 1990s, asserts that size of the part of the brain used for conscious thought and language, the neocortex, limits us to managing 150 friends, no matter how sociable we are.

The professor of Evolutionary Anthropology has applied this theory to see if the ‘Facebook effect’  has stretched the size of social groupings.

He compared the online ‘traffic’ of people with thousands of friends to those with hundreds.

His findings show that there is no discernible difference between the two.

‘The interesting thing is that you can have 1,500 friends but when you actually look at traffic on sites, you see people maintain the same inner circle of around 150 people that we observe in the real world,’ said Dunbar.

‘People obviously like the kudos of having hundreds of friends but the reality is that they’re unlikely to be bigger than anyone else’s.’

Dunbar defined ‘maintained’ friends as those you care about and contact at least once a year.

He has also found that women are better at maintaining friendships on Facebook.

‘There is a big sex difference though … girls are much better at maintaining relationships just by talking to each other. Boys need to do physical stuff together,’ he said.

Addictions expert David Smallwood claims that many who use Facebook become hooked on the urge to acquire more friends in an attempt to appear popular and successful.

So according to this guy I have too many Facebook friends…..15 have got to go. The question is…..which 15 of my “Facebook friends” do not  qualify as my “maintained friends” those I CARE about and contact at least once a year. I believe I will look into this and see if I really do have too many “Facebook friends” and do some purging if necessary.

In the mean time I will continue with my Facebook addiction and enjoy knowing and seeing all about my “friends” lives…..let’s just say Facebook is a virtual version of where I grew up. If you’re my “friend” on Facebook then to me you live in my virtual rural community and I know all about you and you know all about me…..(even the stuff you didn’t want to know) 🙂

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